The story of me and Little Foot

I feel like today might be a day where I can write everything that has happened down, if not for some reader’s benefit then for my own. When I was younger I always imagined myself as a mother. I practiced carrying my dolls, and sweeping the kitchen alongside my mom. When school years came and I realized that most kids my age wanted to be astronauts or firefighters I tried to pick an occupation that I could share with my teachers and friends without feeling silly, as if a mother isn’t a noble profession. I decided that the job that I could aspire to that was second best to actually being a mother myself, was to help women become mothers. I wanted to be a “doctor who delivered babies”.

Later on I realized that becoming a midwife was probably a closer fit to what I actually wanted to do, although if I weren’t so afraid of what people thought I would have just stuck to my original dream, being a mom.

Since I’ve married Paul I have realized how blessed I am. I found a man who not only understands my desire to have children and have that be my job, he desires that for me … and for our kids. I have had to continually battle other people’s expectations of me, but have tried to learn how to rest in the assurance of God’s love for me, and His plan.

Anyway, whenever I looked toward the future as a little girl I always expected to find Prince Charming right away and then start having babies, right away. Well I found Paul (who is the perfect man for me in every way) easy enough, so where are the babies?

We had been married almost three years when we decided that the time was right to start trying to conceive. We weren’t going to track my fertility or anything like that; we were just going to wait until it happened on its own in God’s perfect timing. I was still a bit crazy though. With the possibility of a child in my grasp I lost sight of “the waiting for God’s perfect timing”, and I did everything in my power to conceive a baby. We got pregnant the first month.

While I’m writing this I wonder if God was annoyed with me for trying to control things, and by not waiting on his timing I brought on some punishment, but I realize that that is a short sighted view of my creator, and I need to get my brains back in His word so I can know him more. Geesh!